so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
