you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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