i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Randomize
