i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
