I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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