you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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