it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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