And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize