Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
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