an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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