Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
