Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
