There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
