No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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