I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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