I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?