What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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