found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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