idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
