Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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