I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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