Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
