I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
My bed smells like the plague
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
