I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tell her she can't have a vagina
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
