i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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