Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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