go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
