i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
