Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Someone shit on the floor
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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