I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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