Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
