i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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