shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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