Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
