i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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