even my farts smell like vagina
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
