I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.