ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today