I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have aggressive nipples.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
