yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
