Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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