Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
