btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
