No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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