I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize