The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
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why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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