): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
