I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
