I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
