i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
