Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
