It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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