he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
