I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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