...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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