My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
