Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
