He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to cum in my sink.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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