Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina is officially offended.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
