is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
