Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize