I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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